18th Sunday after Pentecost 2008 Proper 19

September 14, 2008

the Rev. Ken Kroohs

(Genesis 50:15-21; Ps. 103:1-13; Romans 14:1-12; Matthew 18:21-35)

WATCHING OUR MOUTHS - A BIBLICAL IMPERATIVE !

St. Christopher’s, High Point, NC

MAY THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH ... AND THE MEDITATIONS OF ALL OUR HEARTS ... BE ALWAYS ACCEPTABLE TO YOU --- OUR STRENGTH AND OUR REDEEMER AMEN

If you have been in the Episcopal Church for a LONG time you may remember the service from the 1928 Prayer Book. One of the major liturgical changes ... changes in how the service flows when this Prayer Book was written is that now the sermon is immediately after the Gospel is read. In fact, those churches who sing a couple verses of a hymn after the Gospel is read are violating the spirit, if not the letter of the rules!

The reason for having the sermon immediately after the Gospel, and other scriptures are read is to strongly encourage the preacher to preach on the scriptures. If the congregation has just heard those passages and the preacher goes off in some other direction it is painfully obvious .... unfortunately.

Unfortunately because I sure don’t want to preach on these lessons! I don’t want to THINK about these lessons. I usually read the Gospel first and my immediate reaction was: “Please God, make the Romans reading easier!” When that did not work I hoped for salvation from the Old Testament – but that just made things worse!

So, unfortunately, we are forced to consider these lessons.

First let me eliminate a puzzle. Some translations say that you should forgive 77 times and other translations say 70 times 7 times (490 times). Don’t worry about it. Apparently this translation confusion goes back to the very early days. I say don’t worry about it because if you can manage to forgive 77 times I am sure you can extend that winning streak!!

Let me quickly take care of another issue: Forgiveness is NOT for the person we forgive! It is for ourselves. Oh, it might be welcome to the other person but the primary beneficiary is ourselves.

Take a moment and think about someone who has wronged you, either recently or in the past ---------- or if need be, imagine such a situation ---- as you remembered did your blood pressure go up a tad? Maybe even a bit of sweat? Or maybe it is so bad you are wondering how to get the antacid out of your pocket without others noticing!

When we are full of anger, hate, and resentment it hurts us. It may or may not hurt the other person. In fact, most of the time it seems the other person is not aware of how angry we are! But it sure does hurt us.

The only way to end that hurt is to forgive. Not forget necessarily, but forgive. Forgetting could set us up to be mis-treated again which I do not believe Jesus intended. But to forgive – to let go – to stop letting our emotions control us.

I have mentioned my therapist friend who took a sign down from his office. He said the sign was costing him business! It was curing people! The sign said: “resentment is poison we drink, expecting the other person to get sick”. Anger, hate, resentment hurts us – not that other person. Forgiveness is the first step to end our pain.

The point of Jesus’ story is that God has forgiven us a thousand, a million times more than we are called to forgive others. If God forgives us that much — how can we refuse to forgive other people?

One of the most discussed phrases in the Lord’s Prayer is: Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

Many people interpret that as a quid pro quo ... a deal. If we do something then God will do something. If we do not forgive, God will not forgive.

I don’t agree. Lots of people would argue with me! But I think Jesus points out in this phrase that we need to forgive so we can learn how to accept God’s forgiveness.

This probably is harder to imagine but imagine you have hurt someone very badly. Said or done something that was very painful. The key is that deep down inside you know you did wrong and you hate yourself for it.

Now imagine that person forgives you. Chances are it is difficult to accept that. We wonder what game they are playing. We keep watching for the revenge to come. And therefore our relationship with that person never improves.

But ... if we have forgiven someone else then we can more easily accept the forgiveness offered to us. If we have forgiven other people we can more easily understand God forgiving us. .... That’s how I understand that phrase.

Now the Romans passage flips the issue over and talks about how to avoid getting in those situations. In fact, Paul instructs us to avoid getting in those situations. Paul gives very good instructions that any counselor could repeat.

I have heard people say the Bible is not very practical ... what is more practical and real life then this discussion?

The essence of Paul’s instructions goes back to his earlier teaching that all commandments come down to “love your neighbor”. Remembering that this use of “love” means how we act toward other people, Paul tells us not to worry about what does not matter.

I love the opening sentence: “Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions.”

I don’t know if that ever happened to you, but I have been invited to a group or a church only to discover the agenda was to convince me to agree with them! They welcomed me for the purpose of quarreling with me over opinions.

I think what may have hurt more is that eliminated the opportunity for a good discussion. Even a good spirited discussion. And I learn from those!

Then comes the Paul’s central questions: “Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgement seat of God.”

In other words, Why am I judging when that is God’s job?

Notice again this is not about always agreeing. I get quickly bored and leave conversations where everyone is parroting everyone else. The challenge is to disagree without being disagreeable .... and forgiving when that does not happen.

Whether we are discussing or forgiving the key frequently is in the words we use. A person says something ... notice the difference in two responses: “That was really stupid!” verses “What lead you to that conclusion?” Both statements say that I disagree. But when we ask for clarification we leave open the possibility that we did not understand what was said. We leave open the possibility that we did not have all the information. We leave open the possibility that we can have a conversation and possibly the other person will end up agreeing with us! Or, even, we agreeing with them! .... When we ask and do not attack we leave open the possibility that we can love each other.

Now, I don’t know about any of you but I know I have, many too many times, made a comment I later regretted. The old saying: “the mouth was in motion before the brain was engaged” has applied to me from time to time! And I have sought to remember Paul’s teaching here. Tried to focus on what really matters. I believe Paul is hinting at the ability to discuss what foods we can eat or which day is the Sabbath while still respecting the other person. If Paul instead called people heretics, what chance was there for growth?

When we slam the door in their face we have ended the relationship. Joseph had every right to slam the door in his brothers’ faces – but he did not and that relationship was re-built, stronger than ever.

OK — but what about those times when we are right? When, no questions asked ... or at least no questions asked by us ... we know we are right?

Paul spoke about that in the famous love chapter in 1^st Corinthians ... one of the few passages I have memorized: “if I can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, if I have the faith to move mountains but have not love, I am nothing.” If I know everything, honestly know everything but do not treat the people around me with respect — I am nothing.

When Paul was writing to the Romans the question of what to eat and not to eat was actually fairly important. You see some people took the “this is my body, this is my blood” teaching a bit too literally. Rumors ran around that Christians ate little babies.

I suspect that there were lots of rumors about those who ate only vegetables or those who worshiped on Friday.

I know how far off base a rumor can take me! Someone says something that has a hint of truth, someone passes it on with a bit of embellishment, before long the connection between the facts and the statements is difficult to find.

And, no surprise I guess, Paul at least three times in his writings spoke about the danger of gossip. Again, practical, real life issues. Paul links gossip with some of the most serious possible sins because it can be extremely dangerous.

Moses writing Genesis, Paul and Jesus all spoke on the same subject. One I do not enjoy focusing on but obviously something important .... how to be a Christian community.

To paraphrase and expand our opening prayer: O God, mercifully grant that your Holy Spirit may in all things direct and rule our hearts, and our mouths, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

AMEN

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CLICK HERE TO RESPOND: I would enjoy reading your comments about this sermon. Please feel free to discuss content or presentation. (If you wish to use another email system send your comments to: ken@st-christopher.com)